Being a Survivor

One of the reasons for me creating this blog was for it to represent a turning point in my life. For the past 13 years I had been a victim of emotional abuse within my marriage. In 2011 I confronted the fact that I was being abused when I saw the same tactics being carried out on our daughter. It was this last straw which was sufficiently the kick up the backside I needed to prompt me to seek help.

For the longest I didn’t think I was being abused because I wasn’t being hit. I was in denial because he wasn’t breaking things, screaming at me, swearing at me. But what he did was somewhat worse than that. He constantly put me down, he was extremely jealous, he (in the past) took away my self confidence, he intimidated me so that he could control me even when he was thousands of miles away. It was subtle, but very effective.

The effects of such abuse are subtle also – I’d suffered from anxiety and stress, and went through a bout of depression about 6 years ago. Each time I managed to separate myself from him, I would recover but I would always return because I thought, “it wasn’t domestic abuse”.

And so to now – the first thing I wanted to share is taken from the Women’s Aid website. It’s a definition of what the government classes as Domestic abuse: What is Domestic Violence? Women’s Aid

Praise God I am beginning to feel as though I’m a survivor. My daughter has gotten her sparkle back which nearly disappeared in the short time she was with her dad. This is going to be a new year and a new year for our little family.

I can’t wait!

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