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Growing Up!

My youngest child will be two in a couple of weeks time and he is just so amazing!

When I had “H” ten years ago I thanked the Lord so many days but I couldn’t imagine sharing the love that I had for her. But along came “A” and for the first time I had a glimpse of how our Heavenly Father can equally lavish His love on ALL His children. I was able to split that level of love equally to both children but in the same measure!

So little “A” had one of his first social meetings. He met a new friend called Cooper. Cooper is 3 years old and was like a big brother to “A”. Initially he didn’t know how to take Cooper and he would run away from him each time little Cooper would come near. But by the afternoon, “A” was chasing him shouting “Baby!” in his little attempt to grab Coop’s attention.

I have never seen my son so exhausted after such a fun day. It was truly a gift from the Lord to witness.

This Dog’s Story

I saw this on facebook, about a black Labrador called Tank. It was a real weepy. I can’t seem to share it properly direct from facebook, so I’ve copied the story here:


They told me the big black Lab’s name was Reggie,as I looked at him lying in his pen..  The shelter was clean, and the people really friendly.I’d only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open.
Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.

But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn’t hurt.  Give me someone to talk to.And I had just seen Reggie’s advertisement on the local news.  The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had comedown to see him ju st didn’t look like “Lab people,” whatever that meant.  They must’ve thought I did.
But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things,
which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes, and a sealed letter from his previous owner.  See, Reggie and I didn’t really hit it off when we got home.  We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home).  Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too.
Maybe we were too much alike.

For some reason, his stuff (except for the tennis balls — he wouldn’t go anywhere without two stuffed in his mouth) got tossed in with all of my other unpacked boxes. I guess I didn’t really think he’d need all his old stuff, that I’d get him new things once he settled in.  But it became pretty clear pretty soon that he wasn’t going to.

I tried the normal commands the shelter told me he knew, ones like “sit” and “stay” and”come” and “heel,” and he’d follow them – when he felt like it.He never really seemed to listen when I called his name — sure, he’d look in my direction after the fourth or fifth time I said it, but then he’d just go back to doing whatever.
When I’d ask again, you could almost see him sigh and then grudgingly obey.

This just wasn’t going to work.  He chewed a couple shoes and some unpacked boxes. I was a little too stern with him and he resented it, I could tell.The friction got so bad that I couldn’t wait for th e two weeks to be up, and when it was, I was in full-on search mode for my cell phone amid all of my unpacked stuff.  I remembered leaving it on the stack of boxes for the guestroom, but I also mumbled, rather cynically, that the”damn dog probably hid it on me.”

Finally I found it, but before I could punch up the shelter’s number, I also found his pad and other toys from the shelter…I tossed the pad in Reggie’s direction and he snuffed it and wagged, some of the most enthusiasm I’d seen since bringing him home.  But then I called, “Hey, Reggie, you like that?  Come here and I’ll give you a treat.”  Instead, he sort of glanced in my direction — maybe “glared”is more accurate — and then gave a discontented sigh and flopped down …. with his back to me.
Well, that’s not going to do it either, I thought.  And I punched the shelter phone number.
But I hung up when I saw the sealed envelope.
I had completely forgotten about that, too.
“Okay, Reggie,”  I said out loud,
“let’s see if your previous owner has any advice.”

____________ _________
To Whoever Gets My Dog:
Well, I can’t say that I’m happy you’re reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie’s new owner.I’m not even happy writing it.  If you’re reading this,
it means I just got back from my last car ride with my Lab
after dropping him off at the shelter.
He knew something was different.
I have packed up his pad and toys before and set them by the back door before a trip,but this time… it’s like he knew something was wrong.
And something is wrong…which is why I have to go to try to make it right.

So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that itwill help you bond with him and he with you.

First, he loves tennis balls.The more the merrier.  Sometimes I think he’s part squirrel, the way he hordes them.  He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there.  Hasn’t done it yet.  Doesn’t matter where you throw them, he’ll bound after it, so be careful – really don’t do it by any roads.  I made that mistake once, and it almost cost him dearly.
Next, commands.  Maybe the shelter staff already told you, but I’ll go over them again:  Reggie knows the obvious ones —“sit,”  “stay,”  “come,” “heel.” 
He knows hand signals:”back” to turn around and go back when you put your hand straight up; and “over” if you put your hand out right or left.  “Shake” for shaking water off, and “paw” for a high-five.  He does “down” when he feels like lying down — I bet you could work on that with him some more.  He knows”ball” and “food” and “bone”and “treat” like  nobody’s business.

I trained Reggie with small food treats. Nothing opens his ears like little pieces of hot dog.

Feeding schedule:  twice a day, once about seven in the morning, and again at six inthe evening.   Regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand.
He’s up on his shots.Call the clinic on 9th Street and update his info with yours; they’ll make sure to send you reminders for when he’s due.  Be forewarned:  Reggie hates the vet.
Good luck getting him in the car.
I don’t know how he knows when it’s time to go to the vet, but he knows.

Finally, give him some time.I’ve never been married, so it’s only been Reggie and me for his whole life.  He’s gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can.  He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn’t bark or complain.  He just loves to be around people, and me most especially.
Which means that this transition is going to be hard, with him going to live with someone new.
And that’s why I need to share one more bit of info with you….
His name’s not Reggie.
I don’t know what made me do it, but
when I dropped him off at the shelter, I told them his name was Reggie.
He’s a smart dog, he’ll get used to it
and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt.  But I just couldn’t bear to give them his real name.  For me to do that, it seemed so final, that handing him over to the shelter was as good as me admitting that I’d never see him again.  And if I end upcoming back, getting him, and tearing up this letter, it me ans everything’s fine.  But if someone else is reading it, well … well it means that his new owner should know his real name.  It’ll help you bond with him.  Who knows, maybe you’ll even notice a change in his demeanor if he’s been giving you problems.

His real name is “Tank”.
Because that is what  I drive.
Again, if you’re reading this and you’re from the area, maybe my name has been on the news.  I told the shelter that they couldn’t make”Reggie” available for adoption until they received word from my company commander.  See, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could’ve left Tank with … and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq , that they make one phone..call the shelter … in the “event” … to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption.  Luckily,my colonel is a dog guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed.  He said he’d do it personally.  And if you’re reading this, then he made good on his word.
Well, this letter is getting downright depressing,
even though, frankly, I’m just writing it for my dog.  I couldn’t imagine if I was writing it for a wife and kids and family … but still,Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family.

And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he loved me.
That unconditional love from a dog is what I take with me to Iraq as an inspiration to do something selfless, to protect innocent people from those who would do terrible things … and to keep those terrible people from coming over here.  If I have to give up Tank in order to do it, I am glad to have done so.  He ismy example of service and of love.  I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.
All right, that’s enough.I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter.  I don’t think I’ll say another good-bye to Tank, though.  I cried too much the first time.  Maybe I’ll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.
Good luck with Tank.  Give him a good home,
and give him an extra kiss goodnight – every night – from me.

Thank you, Paul Mallory

____________ _________ 
I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope.Sure I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me.  Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver Star
when he gave his life to save three buddies.
Flags had been at half-mast all summer.

I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.
“Hey, Tank,” I said quietly.
The dog’s head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.
“C’mere boy.”
He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor.  He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn’t heard in months.
“Tank,” I whispered.
His tail swished.
I kept whispering his name, over and over, and eachtime, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him.  I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my face into his scruff and hugged him.
“It’s me now, Tank, just you and me.Your old pal gave you to me.”  Tank reached up and licked my cheek.  “So what da ya say we play some ball?”
His ears perked again.”Yeah?  Ball?  You like that?  Ball?”
Tank tore from my hands and disappeared in the next room.

And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.

When The Weather’s Cold and Miserable Outside..

…it makes one’s mind wonder.

I’ve pondered a lot lately about where my future goes from here. During days like this I also try to keep myself busy in terms of learning new things and keeping existing knowledge fresh.

Last weekend I had a few quiet moments with the cats (which is a rarity now). Knuckles – the subject of my Youtube account – gets crazy with the catnip and I managed to catch it on video after he had a bit too much. The catnip had originally been meant for the three cats but he maintained a monopoly and his little brother Vinny could not get a look in.

There’s a craze right now on YouTube called the Harlem Shake and my daughter remarked on how the crazy cat could be doing his own version of the Harlem Shake when he’s under the catnip influence. So some practice at movie editing was born.

From 8 minutes of catnip heaven I was able to condense Knuckles’ experience into 30 seconds. The overall video lasts for 39 secs but it certainly did make us chuckle.

"Deborah This Will Be You"

There are occasions when life’s trials seem to overwhelm us to the point where we feel we cannot take any more pressure. These past few months have felt like that for me being a Domestic Abuse survivor. But recently I’ve dug deeper into my faith and as a result have clung to little gold nuggets of encouragements as I’ve endured these challenges. One such nugget was posted on a forum that I frequent. It is taken from a book called

I Never Promised You a Rose Garden by Joanne Greenberg (1964) (I’ve linked to the book at Amazon)

She has a dream in Chapter 24 which I feel best sums up some of the trials we go through. She goes on to write:

Chapter Twenty-Four


Her dream began with winter darkness. Out of the darkness came a great hand, fisted. It was a man’s hand, powerful and hollowed by shadows in the wells between bones and tendons. The fist opened and in the long plain of the palm lay three small pieces of coal. Slowly the hand closed, causing within the fist a tremendous pressure. The pressure began to generate a white heat and still it increased. There was a sense of weighing, crushing time. She seemed to feel the suffering of the coal with her own body, almost beyond the point of being borne. At last she cried out to the hand, “Stop it! Will you never end it! Even a stone cannot bear to this limit…even a stone…!”

After what seemed like too long a time for anything molecular to endure, the torments in the fist relaxed. The fist turned slowly and very slowly opened.

Diamonds, three of them.

Three clear and brilliant diamonds, shot with light, lay in the good palm. A deep voice called to her, “Deborah!” and then, gently, “Deborah, this will be you.”

Sometimes we can’t make sense of why we suffer, but very occasionally the purpose behind it is to refine us further into being the better person God sees us to be.

Copyright and Usernames

Copyright! A bit of a pain but absolutely necessary. Last night I discovered that there’s a You tube account called “The Talking Pet’s” which I felt was too similar to my Blogger name here and my twitter account. The other account had been set earlier than mine and so if push came to shove I would be the one who would have to rename myself.

So after two cups of tea I went about changing my accounts online which – truthfully – I’ve not been on a lot but this year I’m intending to be on a heck of a lot more.

I’ve matched my You Tube account name and so hopefully this should resolve any further copyright loopholes

Bit of Animation

This is a little video I made while my youngest was asleep. It involved using Adobe Fireworks, Flash and Windows Movie Maker. Not sure whether I can finish it but I’ve always been interested in making a cartoon for my kids. Perhaps when my youngest is older this may come to fruition. When I have more time I will go through the stages it took to make this.

Being a Survivor

One of the reasons for me creating this blog was for it to represent a turning point in my life. For the past 13 years I had been a victim of emotional abuse within my marriage. In 2011 I confronted the fact that I was being abused when I saw the same tactics being carried out on our daughter. It was this last straw which was sufficiently the kick up the backside I needed to prompt me to seek help.

For the longest I didn’t think I was being abused because I wasn’t being hit. I was in denial because he wasn’t breaking things, screaming at me, swearing at me. But what he did was somewhat worse than that. He constantly put me down, he was extremely jealous, he (in the past) took away my self confidence, he intimidated me so that he could control me even when he was thousands of miles away. It was subtle, but very effective.

The effects of such abuse are subtle also – I’d suffered from anxiety and stress, and went through a bout of depression about 6 years ago. Each time I managed to separate myself from him, I would recover but I would always return because I thought, “it wasn’t domestic abuse”.

And so to now – the first thing I wanted to share is taken from the Women’s Aid website. It’s a definition of what the government classes as Domestic abuse: What is Domestic Violence? Women’s Aid

Praise God I am beginning to feel as though I’m a survivor. My daughter has gotten her sparkle back which nearly disappeared in the short time she was with her dad. This is going to be a new year and a new year for our little family.

I can’t wait!

The Start of A New Era

Wow! I’m finally going down the route of having a proper blog online. This has been years coming, I value my privacy but at the same time have an ego big enough to share just about most things online. So why am I starting this blog, you may ask?… In part it will be a platform for me to post items of news that may affect others who are in a similar circumstance as my own. In another part it is an opportunity for me to learn from my permanent previous mistakes when I look back on what I’ve written. There will be a degree of formality as I share some software design tips, mixed with an air of stupidity as I share my crazy life. Here will be a public showcase of what I can achieve when I apply myself (which is not very often, but a gem when I do). I have called my blog “The Talking Pet” as a platform to maintain relative anonymity. My poor pet cat is plastered all over the internet and now his image will also be attached to a blog. But hey! At least he’ll be famous *smiles*